So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
