so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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