It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Did you just see the Batmobile???
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
it's not cheating when I paid for it
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
