I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
