she smelled like a LAN party
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Randomize
