never play flip cup with pint glasses
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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