Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
