Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
