In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Randomize
