I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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