I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
