i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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