I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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