i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize