how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
So squirting runs in the family.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
