what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I will be naked everywhere
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
