omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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