Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
YAS. BRING CRAB.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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