drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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