the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
