Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
okay pat passed out under dana's car
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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