To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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