I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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