hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
My ass is underappreciated
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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