I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
