so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Randomize
