franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
