the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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