So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
