I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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