And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
