I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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