At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize