you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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