how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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