I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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