david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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