so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize