I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
