It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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