True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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