Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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