so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
We are all done wearing pants today
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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