We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
