omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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