We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
