You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
