Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
