I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Randomize
