So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
