I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
