we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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