Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
We left the knife in your bed.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
soo... how was my night?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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