I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I just forgot I was standing up.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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