I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
