one two three fourrrrnication!
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize