last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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